Tradition... tradition

The Sunday just gone (30 Nov) signaled the beginning of Advent.
Advent is an important tradition in the Christian church, as it marks the start of the lead up to the birth of Christ (and hence Christmas).
For everyone else (and many Christians too) Advent also marks start of the calendar that has little chocolates behind each door; and is otherwise a good word to use in scrabble.

Advent is commonly observed (at least in Baptist NZ), by the lighting of five candles, one each week till Christmas itself (week 1- Hope, 2 - Peace, 3 - Love, 4 - Joy), and the fifth is the Christ candle (white coloured) and lit on Christmas day.

It's all very pretty and really adds something to the weeks before Christmas (otherwise overrun by endless advertising and jingles).

Of course; it never actually happened in the bible.

Mary was a bit preoccupied at the time to think about lighting candles (with all the riding the donkey, and looking for a place to give birth going on), Joseph was more concerned about getting back home safely, and the wise men hadn't arrived yet.

So where did Advent come from? The early church - people made it up (arguably with God's influence). History otherwise regarding Advent is a bit vague, it may have started as early as the 4th century but that is still 300-400 years later than the birth of Christ.

There are many traditions that are sourced directly from the Bible - communion (Matthew 26:26-) and baptism (Matthew 3:13-) being two significant ones that spring to mind. These traditions were acted out by Jesus and are therefore given serious weight in the church today (even if you don't believe in Jesus, I hope you can respect that for those who do, following His actions is really important).
And there are these other traditions that have developed over the centuries (for good or bad), and have merged with the originals. Funny how humans do that.

Does it matter?

As with most things, the answer is yes and no. There's no point blindly repeating something that you don't understand or believe to be true; so it's at least worth asking some questions as to what it all means (Christians strangely enough ask questions all the time, because we often don't know the answers).
If you don't understand a Christian tradition (or any tradition) I suggest you investigate further.

Tradition has its positives as well:
My family has for many years assembled the Christmas tree in the first week of December (sadly I have missed out recently, being in the wrong city). Each time we play the same (often terrible) Christmas music, and place the dozens (or hundreds) of ornaments on the tree, and at the end we get to turn on the lights and look at the twinkling glow.
Our tradition is associated with good times, and family bonding. It may only be a tradition for my family, but it's a good one.

So, this December I invite you to think about Advent - even if for the chocolate - as it might add new dimensions to your lead up to Christmas.

Hope. Peace. Love. Joy.

Merry Christmas.

It's election time, who brought the pizza?

I find myself sitting at my computer, at 9.30pm the day before the New Zealand general election - completely mystified as to who I will vote for tomorrow.

I am a strong believer in democratic process (and currently a public servant*), so I will be voting; but currently I'm thinking about flipping a coin - or since there are so many parties - rolling a die.

The issue I have is that policy 1 from Party A is quite good, but I don't agree with policy 2; so I look at Party B and quite like the look of policy 3, but worry about policies 1 and 2; and so on.

It would seem that no party is quite leftcentredright for my ideals.

I can think of two possibilities why:

1. I'm highly unusual and/or strange: Definitely a possibility, but if that's the case I'm unlikely to change in time for voting tomorrow;
2. I don't fit party policy: Also likely, as regardless of your political leaning, I'll bet you have never heard a speech on 'supporting the up-trodden well paid, educated, middle class, single, white male minority class'. Because if you did, it would be either for comedic value, or that person would be being booed off stage.
   

I also find myself slightly saddened by the plethora of placard waving volunteers (or are they?), that have stood on traffic islands, across Wellington city, braving gale force winds, to proudly proclaim their chosen political party on a cardboard sign**.
It seems, after over one hundred years of democratic process, New Zealand's political parties have finally managed to rise to the lofty levels of pizza street advertising.

Could I have some policy with my pizza please. Hold the tomato.

Please excuse me while I go find a die to roll.


* As a public servant I am constrained by the Public Service Code of Conduct, hence no actual political parties mentioned in this post
** At least four political parties did this

Election time, hand me a sparkler

For many, this week is one of the most significant of the year, I refer to of course:

1. Guy Fawkes, and
2. The beginning of Christmas retail.

If you were expecting me to say:

1. The election of the leader of the free world, and
2. A small election in the USA*

Then you are sorely mistaken, as nothing beats market desire to sell sparklers, cards, and chocolate Santa Claus's to all and sundry - even Barack Obama's reportedly $700 million campaign budget.

We (New Zealand) are in day two of the four days we are able to purchase fireworks legally each year; although each year that period gets shorter and shorter, and what we can buy gets less and less.
This year the dreaded sparklers can only be purchased as part of a pack of 'normal' fireworks; you know the ones:

"Shoots flaming balls and reports. Light fuse and get away"...

...Because sparklers are the dangerous ones.

And I hope the (double) irony isn't lost this year, as during Guy Fawkes we celebrate:

- The ending of a plot to blow up the government by the man Guy Fawkes (and some others who didn't get to go down in history);
- by purchasing explosives;
- three days before a nationwide election.

But even that is nothing compared to the fact that Christmas advertising has begun, a full two months early. I personally find it very difficult to contemplate Christmas shopping outside the month of December, and seeing blatant product placement, fake snow (in NZ!), and hearing incessant jingles far far too early does put me off. And I haven't even begun on the true meaning of Christmas (maybe closer to the time).

Nevertheless what is known that on that key day, millions of children will be looking forward to an elderly, jolly, white haired man turning up to fulfill their greatest wishes.

Or will it be Barack Obama?


*Ok, a small election in NZ :-)

A quick rant on spelling. And a plea.

(Apologies in advance to Americans, you won't understand)

It is official, I am turning into my father as I get older.
The most recent proof this week was as I read the new Christmas advertising on the Duxton Hotel's signage (one of the larger hotels in Wellington), and became incensed, due to:

'Organize Christmas Function'

This is obviously a to-do list for getting something done for Christmas. Fair enough, it's getting to that time of the year after all.
There is just one problem - 'organize' is not a word.
The word you would use (being a New Zealander, speaking English, language originating from England) is 'organise'.

Alas, we have merged American 'English' into our language, so we have -ize and -or; and no longer have -ise and -our.
It's logical if you think about it - which word processing software do we write with? MS Word probably. And what does it always (incessantly) default to? English (U.S.)

Even as I write the word 'organise' it is marked as incorrect by the browser; a polite little red underline telling me something is wrong.
It is inescapable.

So I implore you to stay eternally vigilant and keep New Zealand safe. Save me from becoming my father (though if you've met my father you might say that it is far far too late).

PS:
I have recently noticed my bible to be written in American English too! I'm sure St Paul didn't spell organise with a 'z', he did things properly. Yeah...

לארגן

Confessions and Marian Keyes

In my last post I mentioned a change of tone, so be warned there are "Christian Themes" at some point in this post.

I picked up the Whitcoulls Top 100 books list this week, it's something I like to review from time to time and use it as a guide to read something new. I tick off books I've read and total them up in the aim of feeling self-righteous because I am so incredibly literate.

Twenty three.

That's how many books I ticked off. Out of one hundred. Lit-er-ate.
That includes all 6 Harry Potter books too. High brow reading.

In my defence there are books on the list that I don't actually ever want to read:

• Anything by Marian Keyes,
• Same goes for Diana Gabaldon,
• The Notebook, Chocolat, Captain Corelli's Mandolin - forget it.

That removes ten books (Marian Keyes to blame there), but even so twenty three from ninety is hardly a sterling record; a fraction over 25%. Fail.

I could cheat a little, as there are books I have started but never finished, and usually only a few pages in. I could almost count them. Almost.
I am quite content to stop reading a book if I am getting nowhere (unlike my mother who forces her way to the end of everything; including Marian Keyes).

But if I decide to cheat, I run into problems. There are two books on the list (every time!), that cause considerable issue:

1. The Edmonds cookbook. Yes it's a classic. It is also a recipe book. I am not tempted to absorb it from cover to cover, but yes I do turn to it to perfect a lasagne cheese sauce.
2. The Bible. For the unobservant, this is where the entire post has been heading (Christian themes...), because as a Christian I obviously place the Bible as the most important book written, bar none*.
   

But I must confess:

I haven't read it all.

I have certainly read a lot of it, and that amount is slowly increasing (currently quite well, other times not so much); but there are many passages that I am completely in the dark over - Old Testament books mostly, for whatever reason.

Does familiarity breed contempt? No; but familiarity does breed apathy.
It's like the teddy bear you have had since you were a child; it's been there for thirty years and you like having it around because it's a piece of your life; but it isn't like you need to look at it, just know it's around...somewhere.

So it's time for the confession. Because recently it has become obvious that in order to be a 'better' Christian a sound knowledge of the Bible is not just important, it's essential. Essential.
It doesn't sound like an amazing revelation, and it's not, but that's how it goes; better to do something about it now than leave it longer. It might take time but it is worth it.

So, all going to plan the next time the Whitcoulls Top 100 list comes out, I should still have twenty three books ticked off; but at least I can say I've read them all cover to cover.

Well, except that Edmonds Cookbook...



*collection of books to be more precise

Birthday time for Google

And now a surprise post from the technology news desk.

The internet isn't very old, not even 20 years yet for the 'real' web.
In that time though there have been a number of phenomenon-menom..s; I'm not talking about chain emails promising money from Bill Gates, or Nigerian bank scams either. The real thing:

1. David 'Don't Hassel The Hoff' Hasselhoff
The original master of Knight Rider and Baywatch himself has since 'appeared' in many online satire, some of it his own. And yes, he does own rights to 'Don't Hassel The Hoff'. He's also the highest selling music artist in Germany...



2. Chuck Norris
Fact: Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Fact: There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Fact: Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
These 'fact's any many many more have sprung up all over the internet surrounding this mythic martial artist. But the question you have to ask is, if so many 'facts' exist where did they come from in the first place?
The answer is of course "a roundhouse kick to face".

3. Star Wars Kid
A tragic tale of embarrassment, turned into viewing for millions of people. Take one unfortunate adolescent doing lightsaber tricks and film him. Put it on the internet. Add visual fx. Put on internet again. Create an internet legend. Get sued. Terrible or funny? You decide.

4. Rickrolling
From Wikipedia:
Rickrolling is an Internet meme involving the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song "Never Gonna Give You Up". The meme is a bait and switch: a person provides a Web link they claim is relevant to the topic at hand, but the link actually takes the user to the Astley video. The URL can be masked or obfuscated in some manner so that the user cannot determine the true source of the link without clicking (and thus satisfying their curiosity). When a person clicks on the link given and is led to the web page he/she is said to have been "Rickrolled"...

5. Ok Go "Here It Goes Again"
You might know it as 'the treadmill song'. A genius music video and a great song too.

6. Strongbad/Homestarrunner
Very clever and funny animations created from user submitted emails, to Strongbad. Made famous mostly by word-of-mouth, so much so that there is now a computer game (plus other merchandise).

The list goes on. It really does.

"So what?" you ask.
Because this leads me into another internet phenomenon - Google.

Google is celebrating it's tenth birthday at the moment (huzzah). Starting small with their search engine (strangely called 'Google') they have expanded beyond belief into nearly all aspects of web-life:

• The aforementioned search engine, so popular that the word 'Google' is now a verb and a noun. Where would we be without it?
  
• YouTube, bought by Google for the tidy sum of 1.6 billion US dollars; and one of the most popular sites on the net (and already used a bunch of times in this post)
• Google AdWords. Where Google gets it's income from. They appear on many many websites, but you might not have noticed
  
• Google Maps and Google Earth. The reason you can surf the web at work; because it's 'educational'. Also really brilliant for finding directions; like to this amazing place!
• Gmail and Blogger. Almost unlimited online email, and a blog site (which you are reading from)
  
• A recently released web browser 'Chrome', which had some trouble with the user licence but will probably take off (I still like Firefox though)
• A recently announced touch phone to rival Apple's Ipod

Why are Google so successful, and enjoying continued consumer fandom?

1. Everything is free! (well not the phone...probably)
2. They aren't Microsoft
3. They have a sense of humour
   

So with that in mind, join me in wishing Google a happy tenth birthday. Long may it continue.

I'll finish with a warning - I'm thinking of writing my next post(s) as a serious look at Christian religion and living. There may be a dramatic shift in tone. You have been warned.

The End of the World. But it got better.

Hi again,
I'm back with something conspiracy theorists are going to love. A public safety message.

In my last post , I said that although the newly developed CERN particle ring had started up, it hadn't caused the end of the world through a black-hole.

I was wrong.

You may not have realised, but linked* to this event was the following news article, Kiwi lollies lose their sparkle

Yes that's right, giant confectionary maker Cadbury-Pascall pulled the iconic New Zealand lollies** from shelves, meaning the sudden disappearance of Sparkles, Tangy Fruits and Snifters. Will Jaffas be the next casualty? who can tell.

And this occured at the same time the particle accelerator started up. Coincidence? I think not!***

Luckily for New Zealand and the rest of the world this phenomenon was short lived; as the accelerator in question developed a world-confectionary saving fault and was shut down.

Add some heated environmental protesting via consumer outrage, and it looks as though Cadbury may restore the missing lollies to shelves - the damage to the earth will be minimal.
But it was a close thing.

In case this should happen again, stock up on your favourite lollies now to be prepared.
There's no telling when such a disaster may occur again, and next time we may not be as lucky.


* May not be statistically valid
** Lolly; aka confectionary, candy, sweets
*** Ok yes, maybe coincidence

The end of the world? Or at least France

Day 1.
Today at CERN, the world's largest particle accelerator started up, Scientists start up particle-smasher

It didn't cause the end of the world (or if it did no-one noticed), and is instead trying to find the existence of new forms of matter; using the tried and try technique of smashing things together at high speeds.
Much like a demolition derby, but with smaller cars and a bigger arena.

In this article Kiwi with his finger on the Big Bang Button our famous Kiwi is quoted as saying,
"We have been shown to meet all safety standards. In terms of the black-hole scenario, LHC is safe."

The black-hole scenario?!

I don't know about you but that statement makes me more worried than some assumed apocalypse from an oversized science lab.

I mean, really what is the scenario for a black hole?

Scenario 8.1 Black-Holes
Description: [EVENT: APOCALYPSE] The event the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) causes the spontaneous creation of a black-hole, or holes. Shortly after (ie. immediately) the intensive gravitational field sucks all matter into said black-hole, causing the end of the world. And the solar system.
Risk: Low, but honestly we don't know since no-one has ever made a black hole before.
Person Responsible: John. Yeah, definitely John.
Mitigation: Unknown, but options may be -
i. Pray to God (possible conflict of interest)
ii. Stop, Drop and Roll
iii. Fire extinguisher
iv. Time Machine (to be designed)
v. Evacuate to Alpha Centarii (undergoing budgetary constraints)
vi. Chuck Norris
Note: At all times act positive for the media; and Chuck Norris.

Valuable scientific work, yes. Crazy? Also yes.
It leads me to the following statement:
Science is about hypotheses and testing. If you want absolutes, look elsewhere.

"Where were you when I created the earth?
Tell me, since you know so much!
Who decided on its size? Certainly you'll know that!
Who came up with the blueprints and measurements?
How was its foundation poured,
and who set the cornerstone,
While the morning stars sang in chorus
and all the angels shouted praise?"
Job 38:4-7

"And evening passed and morning came, marking the first day."
Genesis Ch1:4

Wondering out loud

And now from the political news desk, Me.
This may be a one-off post, as politics isn't usually something I dabble in; and I warn you there is controversy ahead (yes really) which is why it may be the first and last post. However now for the news...

Sarah Palin, the new deputy for John McCain is almost a Republican dream-boat:

• Miss congeniality at a beauty pageant
• Married to pro sports person
• One child in the army
• One child disabled
• Member of the NRA
• Anti-abortion
• Pro death penalty

If it wasn't for daughter Bristol things would be hunky-dory (this should test her anti-abortion stance at least). http://www.stuff.co.nz/4677901a12.html
(was that controversial?)

But it isn't abortion or lack thereof that I'm questioning, that issue is infinitely large and emotive and I'm not qualified to comment.
(safe here)

My question is purely based on logic (Vulcan's beware):
How can you support the death penalty, yet not support abortion?
(hey, that sounded controversial)

Abortion - noun - "any of various surgical methods for terminating a pregnancy."
Death penalty - noun - "a sentence of punishment by execution."

From the above definitions it could be implied that abortion attempts to improve the life of the mother by terminating a pregnancy; whereas the death penalty attempts to improve society by terminating an individual. Which may sound similar; but they aren't; or are they; no definitely aren't-are. Which one was correct again?
(argh controversy again)

I have another question:
What about grace* and mercy?
(and more controversy, end it now!)

Just throwing ideas out there.


* Grace is a Christian concept of favour and forgiveness for the undeserving. And you thought abortion was a tricky topic...

Holding on to the travel bug

So I have been back in New Zealand for a week, and my previous post was a 10 days ago (which is almost infinity in email-time). Trouble was I didn't know how to convert a travel blog into something sophisticated like discussing the thematic relationships of Wall-E.

So I haven't.*

When you come back from holiday it turns out there is one, and only one, question that people ask you - "What was your favourite place?"

This is a ridiculous question, as every day I saw something I hadn't seen before (or thousands of things I hadn't seen before) having to rate them on some sort of scale is impossible.
Three things define the experience:
1. What you see
2. What you do
3. Who you are with

If you don't believe me, try going to Disneyland by yourself, go to the Grand Canyon with a paper bag on your head, or eat a romantic dinner for one.

For anything to be enjoyable (and this isn't just for travel) you will be able to have fun with one of the above; can go a long long way with two; and if you get all three then it's probably one of the best days of your life.

So I invite you to take today and use it to appreciate something new, and share it with someone special.

(The Grand Canyon is pretty amazing too)

* The next post I promise.

I went to America and all I got was this stupid blog

As I prepare to leave London for New Zealand, I thought I'd give five quick highlights from USA.

1. Alcatraz (San Francisco)
Touring around The Rock is quite an experience, especially finding out the flaws in the movie 'The Rock'.

2. Yosemite National Park
Having been to Yosemite twice now (winter and summer) I can say it is a beautiful place in either season. Go in summer to enjoy some excellent views and challenging walks

3. Grand Canyon
One of the national wonders of the world and once you arrive it is easy to see why. A simply breathtaking place.

4. Niagara Falls
Another natural wonder, and where the Grand Canyon stuns the eyes with epic scale, the Falls also include the senses of touch and hearing, as the huge flow of water thunders over the cliffs.

5. Lincoln Memorial (Washington DC)
Immortalised in a number of movies, including Forrest Gump; this memorial to President Lincoln is sobering and classic. Turn around for a excellent view up the mall to the Capitol.

PS: Remember that in America the most useful currency is:
One dollar bill - Used in tipping, which means all the time; don't substitute for the one dollar coin.
Quarter dollar - Used in every coin operated machine everywhere

Eye on London

Being back in London again, some things stand out as unusual:

1. Summer
Everything you hear about an English summer is true. Expect to be rained on, blown away, or electrocuted in a thunder storm. You wonder why sun screen is even sold here.

2. Left and Right
English drive on the left (the correct side) and hence overtake on the right, but on the underground you stand on the right and overtake on the left. Nonsensical.

3. Weights and Measures
The English have a 'relaxed' attitude to metric measure. Expect to see litres used on liquid volume; but miles used in distance - unless they use kilometres.
As Daniel also mentioned, a sign saying 5m could mean 5 miles or 5 minutes.

4. Princess Diana Memorial Fountain
With all respect to the late princess, calling her memorial a 'fountain' is a stretch of the definition at the best of times. More apt would be 'aqueduct', 'drain', or more poetically a 'cascade'.

5. Madame Tussards
Everyone knows Madame Tussards, the famous celebrity wax museum (and worth the price of entry). However it isn't quite that easy.
a. The models are made of fibreglass, not wax. Only the original scuplt is wax, and then moulded with fibreglass to make it last longer.
b. Part of the tour includes a dungeon (what's with the British and their dungeons) where live actors frighten the audience. Surely this is a blasphemy for a wax museum.

Tomorrow I leave for New Zealand and back to whatever you call a normal life. Time to sort out my photos

For Your Culinary 'Pleasure' part 2

I have made it back from the front lines, and with only a few hours to go before this campaign ends it seems that we will win the day.

I created part 1 of this list of American 'treats' earlier http://russellpbrowning.blogspot.com/2008/08/for-your-culinary-pleasure-snack-food.html

Here is part 2:

11. Angel Food Cake
I ended the previous post with this lead-in, and it didn't disappoint. A cross between sponge cake and meringue, a sweet tooth delight.

12. Taco Bell
From the mexican fast food chain. They sell cheap tacos ($0.89ea), which, while hardly brimming with options (you get beef, lettuce and cheese), are surprisingly tasty.

13. In and Out Burger
Another fast food chain, in the California region only. If you read the menu, you will see only 5 things*:
-Burger (beef)
-Slightly larger burger (same ingredients as above)
-Slightly even larger burger (as above)
-Fries
-Soft drink
Given the lack of choice, you would think they would be pretty special. Think again. Think a cross between a fat fried pattie from Burger King and the swept up remains of a Wendy's bun with lettuce; throw in the worst fries ever. Voila.

14. A slice of Cheese pizza
Taking pizza to a whole new level of minimalism (except the portion), the cheese pizza has only one topping - cheese. This may not scream 'tasty'; but much like Taco Bell, it's cheap and what you pay for isn't too bad. I'd add pepperoni for a bit more flavour though.

15. Philly Cheese Steak
Steak coneseuirs will be disapointed, as this is basically a steak and cheese hot roll (or sub), don't expect them to ask if you want it medium-rare either. It's tasty enough, but the cheese is runny and horribly processed (what I wouldn't do for a slice of Edam). Which brings me to...

16. Cheese Whizz
"Cheese What?" might be a better name, due to it's complete indifference to anything resembling actual cheese. First of all it sprays from a can (like dairy whip cream), and second it is orange. If you like your cheese not at all then this is for you.

17. NYC Hotdog
From a roadside stand even. $3 gets you one with everything (cue zen joke), which is reasonably tasty. The portion size is on the small size though so I felt a bit cheated.

18. Soft Pretzel
Also available in roadside stand versions. $3 gets you a large pretzel and enough salt to fill the pacific ocean. Avoid unless you adore salt with everything, or are looking to have a heart attack.

19. Bagels
This high-carb donut wannabe, available with every variety of cream cheese filling imaginable. A fresh one is very nice, and very filling. However this almost doesn't qualify Bagels are readily available in New Zealand.

20. Crispy Creme
If bagels are not for you then donuts have all the sugar you need. The Crispy Creme glazed donut (without a hole) is very nice as a dessert; unfortunately American's haven't figured out the right time to eat them, so the are available any time from breakfast. The glaze will melt in the sun, so eat it quickly.

I hope you can now go out yourselves, knowledgeable of the dangers ahead.

End Transmission

* There is actually a secret menu for those in the know. But it doesn't have 'added flavour' on it.

News report from our man in New York

Time to break up travel reports with a breaking opinion story.

Pick the odd one out:
1. New York
2. London
3. Munich
4. Singapore
5. Auckland
6. Los Angeles

If you said Los Angeles you get half a point because they ARE odd there; but no, the correct answer is Auckland (and not because it's the only southern hemisphere city on the list).
Why then?

It's the only city (or perhaps - metropolis) without a metro train system (yes, even the infamous LA is getting in on the action now); and the Britomart terminal doesn't count, you need to have actual trains for it to work.
If you look at most large 'western' cities they will be likely to have a metro system of some kind, that functions (for better or worse); and the reason they work is that large numbers of people use them daily to: travel to and from work/go shopping/be tourists/...
because they are:
1. Cheap
2. Fast
3. Easier than driving
4. More environmentally conscious than driving (I bet London didn't think of that one when they started the underground in the late 1800's)

Having spent today using the New York subway to get all over Manhattan (for a total of $7), I find them to be generally excellent; and from a statement I heard today, another 5 million people in New York agree with me.

So why not Auckland!

The obvious answer is because of the cost, they aren't cheap. But if the metro will be used for 100 years, perhaps someone should think about how history might value such a decision.
I know I'd like it.

(PS: Aucklander's, take a look at Wellington's example. Electrified rail. The Future. In the 20th Century.)

In other news; being atop the Rockefeller Centre during a lightning storm is not advised.
But the view is excellent.

I'm Russell Browning reporting from New York city, back to you in the news room.

Niagara Falls, never a Mountie when you need one. eh!

If you ever visit Niagara Falls, the following three points will be invaluable
1. Go to Canada
Yes I know, Canada, the country 'immortalised' in such songs as 'Blame Canada'*, 'The Royal Canadian Mounted Yaksmen', and of course Monty Python's 'Lumberjack'. Canada may not scream "visit me", but trust me on this, because:
a. It has the longest unguarded border in the world, to none other than the U.S.A. nudgenudge winkwink say-no-more.
b. If you want to see the Niagara falls, you can't do them justice on the USA side and you will be jealous of the thousands of tourists on the other side looking back at you, and their perfect view of the falls.

2.
Go on the Maid of the Mist
This is a boat (or more correctly-boats) that run up the river to the apex of the crashing water of the Horseshoe Falls (also called Canada Falls). The view from this boat is amazing, and the only way to fully appreciate the sheer volume of water pouring down the otherwise fairly low height. (Niagara is not even close to the highest waterfall in the world, but nothing compares to the millions of litres per minute flow).
Ironically if you board the Maid of the Mist from the America side, you will have fewer tourists competing for views on the boat. Stick with point 1.

3.
Go behind the falls
Can only be down on the Canadian side (see, point 1 is coming in handy already). For $13 (Canadian or US, both are accepted in Niagara) you can don a plastic poncho and walk behind the falling water in a man made tunnel leading to three lookout points.
Two of the lookout points are next to useless. Why? Because the cascading water covers the lookout hole entirely and all you will see is white, and some splashing.
The first lookout point is excellent however; with a decent photo opportunity of the falls (but watch your camera for water damage), and an open area that allows you to get completely saturated (did you remember your poncho?)

Follow these simple three steps and you are guaranteed to lose 10 kilograms in your first week**, I mean, have an excellent time in Niagara Falls.
One last thing on Clifton Hill, a glitzy neon laden tourist road I heard described as "Niagara's Time's Square".
It really isn't.


View Larger Map

*
"...Blame Canada
It seems that every thing's gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Blame Canada
They're not even a real country anyway..."
** Results not typical

A New York minute post

Hi again,
I've been in New York city for about 5 hours now, and still haven't been mugged! That must be some sort of record.

Mind you it seems the New Yorkers have a new thing to do rather than abuse passers by - talk on their cellphones. I have no idea who they are talking too, but the numbers of people on the street are so high it is very likely it's someone just across the road.

This is only a temporary visit to the city, as I'm heading to Niagara tomorrow, but I've wandered to the ubiquitous Times Square already (as seen in 2,184 movies this year already), and I must say it's an impressive use of neon and lcd lighting. The Toys'R Us store even has a working ferris wheel contained within its department store.
Wait, I'm getting Vegas flashbacks...

For Your Culinary 'Pleasure' - Snack food in the USA Part 1

Part of my trip (ie. tour of duty) thus far has been to sample as many 'American' treats as possible for the good of New Zealand. This is a patriotic duty I am willing-nay compelled-to carry out. I think not of myself, but of the millions of New Zealander's back home, or caught up with me on the front lines.

So without further ado a summary (part 1):
1. Twinkie
The classic 'cream' filled 'sponge'. Amazingly classed as food, although nothing consumed will assist your metabolism.
2. Snowball
Coconut covered, marshmallow covered, cake covered, cream. If you can figure that out then you will know never to eat a Snowball.
3. Grandma's Cookie (a biscuit in New Zealand)
This was a back-up in case the Snowball failed to deliver. Bad idea. Choose a Cookie-Time every time.
4. S'more
The classic American camping treat, two Graham crackers (sort of digestives) with chocolate and roasted marshmallow inside. Admittedly the technique of assembly requires a bit of practice so while mine wasn't a success, I think more research is required
5. Twizzlers
Strawberry licorice. Less appetising than the plastic packaging it comes in.
6. York
Not a place in the UK. A bigger version of the after dinner mint. Quite acceptable.
7. Key Lime Pie
I had no idea what this would be; turns out it's a lime flavoured cheesecake. Excellent.
8. Dorittos
Corn chips, with various flavours. Chips are good.
9. Babe Ruth
A chocolate bar with nuts. Almost identical to a Snickers bar (which is also sold in USA), so take your pick.
10. Iced Tea
The unflavoured version tastes like, well, cold tea (no sugar or milk). The flavoured versions can be very refreshing, I particularly like the peach teas.

You may notice a lack of peanut butter flavoured goods. This is deliberate as I can't imagine anything worse (and I can eat marmite off the spoon).

Tomorrow I get to try Angel Food Cake and hope the feathers don't get caught in my throat.
Tune in for part 2.

There's a new ride at Disneyland!

...but I'll get back to that...

I am in the City of Angels now, and Universal Studios has a couple of new rides: 'The Simpsons', which replaced the old 'Back to the Future' motion (jerky) master; and a short 'The Mummy' roller coaster which left me feeling disappointed. I highly recommend the Terminator 2 3D 'ride' though, and the Waterworld show which is much better than the movie.

Which brings me to Disneyland, they also have new rides:
a. Finding Nemo submarines, which are re-jigged submarine rides of old. You sail under and around the Great Barrier reef following the story of Nemo. It's nice and simple, but is let down entirely by a line that is at least an hour long. As far as I could tell, no one ever actually rides this attraction due to the line often being 3 hours long... which is a paradox, since if no one rides it how is the line formed?
b. Buzz Lightyears Astro Blasters. It's a light gun game essentially, but is competitive in that all riders have their own gun and score. Note me destroying Space Ranger 1 in the picture below...umm, yeah.

c. I also managed for the first time (in 3 visits) do the Matterhorn bobsleds, so I'll consider them new. It nearly didn't happen though...

Let me detour for a second to highlight one other thing of Disneyland - they have 2 parades, and at least one fireworks display DAILY. I timed the fireworks, and they ran for 18 minutes. The sheer cost and man hours to make that happen is phenomenal. Plus it beats nearly every fireworks display in New Zealand.

Back to the new rides again; we experienced a very unique ride while at Disneyland (while in the Matterhorn line). The Earthquake:
http://forums.wdwmagic.com/showthread.php?p=3034573

Pros of the earthquake ride
1. Everyone gets to ride at once
2. It's so good, it makes the breaking news in LA
3. After the ride, the queues for all other rides are empty
4. There's no height restriction

Cons of the earthquake ride
1. The park shuts all rides, and does an engineering inspection. Don't expect to be riding anything for 3 hours (minimum)
2. Related cafes may lose gas during this time, so you might be hungry too

Other than 'Acts of God' Disneyland is always a great place to visit, and has quite a unique atmosphere - something Universal Studios tries to replicate and fails - and this time made all the more special with the assistance of friends Rose and Karine who I met on my previous European trip 2 years ago. Disneyland is best experienced with at least one other person.

Hasta La Vista.

Another paradox of Disneyland: It is the 'Happiest Place on Earth', yet there are more than one and they can't all be the happiest.

I believe in bears. Faith in the unseen

Having just come to the end of a week long camping tour, I will highlight two things:

1. The Bears of Yosemite National Park (an analogy)
I did not see a bear in the park.
I met people who claimed to have seen a bear.
Experts described when and how a bear would arrive.
There were signs 'proving' the existence of bears, and even pictorial representations of bears.
Copious written material was evident on your relationship with a bear (If a bear stands at your door and knocks, get out of the house)
http://www.nps.gov/yose/planyourvisit/scarebears.htm

Yet I did not see a bear.
Ergo: I do not believe in bears

2. Camping tours and sleeping (not an analogy)
USA is big, I mean really big. Also, it is large.
Why would this be a concern for a camping tour? sleep. don't expect any.
A typical day is spent driving for a number of hours (it's big remember), arriving at the campsite and setting up tents, followed by dinner (dark at this point); and topped off with a 5.30am start the next day to do it over again.
But what is that you say? what about when you remain in the same place the next day?

Good question: Our second day in Yosemite, the entire day is free to do whatever we like.

Wake up time = 4.15am. We were up so early, that I had completed a 6 hour hike before lunchtime.

As for Las Vegas; do not attempt to combine early mornings with Las Vegas. Vegas starts at sunset and doesn't stop until all your money is gone. One member of our tour finished his night at 9am, ready for breakfast and started the next day again.

Why?
It's hot, I mean really hot (you thought I would say big didn't you). So hot that in Arizona (the hottest, final night), in order to be cool overnight, you would have to sleep in the lake.

Why?
It is worth it. You'll see when I get the pictures.


PS: For those who were wondering how Alcatraz was - it is amazing. If you go to San Francisco you must do 'the Rock'.

Don't call it Frisco! Day 1 in SF

After a slightly shorter flight than anticpated, made up for by someone connecting the dockway correctly, and the customary greeting from US customs - I was in America!
Choosing to take (cheap) public transport I trained into the central city, getting off below the giant Nordstrom store. And what should be there? the cable car.

Having never done it before I proceeded to buy a ticket, and joined the rather significant queue. Lessons learnt:
1. Not a fast queue,
2. Not a fast method of transport,
3. Not good transport if carrying a backpack of all your wordly possessions,
4. Did I mention the queue?
None-the-less, now I feel like an actual bona-fide San Francisian.

The hostel is a simple walk around the waterfront from the cable car line, so naturally I went completely the wrong way. I blame my guide book for running out of map.
Once there, time for shower and back around the waterfront (the fast way) to hire a bicycle and commence the ride across the Golden Gate bridge (again the waterfront)
By the time I hired the bike, I had 2.5 hours until the place closed, and they charge by the hour so I wasn't hanging around. Unfortunately I didn't account for the wind, which obviously had been watching Wellington and 'upsized' it in typical American fashion. Round trip was a fast 1hr40, of which 30 minutes was the return journey (with the wind).

The only thing seemingly unaffected by the wind is the haze. It's miraculous.

Tomorrow - The Rock.

Head 'em up, move 'em out, move 'em on, head 'em out Rawhide!

Just enough time for a deep philosophical question before I head overseas

Why are backpacks measured in litres?*

My backpack has a reasonably sizable 90ltr capacity, which would be great except for one important distinction - I'm not filling my bag with water.

This may sound like I'm splitting hairs, but think of the alternative:
1) Water would leak out of the zips, so I'd have to refill it regularly
2) It would weigh 90 kilograms**, putting my bag not only over the standard weight allowance for international flights, but be impossible to move. Well, until some of the water had leaked out.

On the plus side - I'll be well hydrated

What I am filling my bag with is assorted clothes, books, medications, shoes and other miscellany which just as easily fills up 90 litres, without the leaking.
Or more correctly, I'm trying to fill my bag. Because it seems there is always more to pack than you'd think, and while the advantage of a liquid is that it will fill all the available space perfectly, solids have a tendency to be, well, solid.

I'd better get back to it; next stop San Francisco.

* that's a metric measure of volume for anyone in USA
** also a metric measure, this time of weight

Welcome Willkommen Vítejte Bienvenue

Welcome to the beginning of the beginning,
I imagine anyone reading this blog will already know who I am, but a short summary:
-I am a single 30 year old male
-I am Christian
-I live in Wellington, New Zealand (which has more cafes and restaurants per head of capita than New York city)


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-and I like to travel. Which brings me to the next bit...

This blog will begin as a travel diary for a month long trip to USA. It will also be used to comment on things I feel appropriate, whether they be movies, news, events - however I will attempt to keep it from a Christian perspective (see point 2).
You may disagree. Good.