Niagara Falls, never a Mountie when you need one. eh!

If you ever visit Niagara Falls, the following three points will be invaluable
1. Go to Canada
Yes I know, Canada, the country 'immortalised' in such songs as 'Blame Canada'*, 'The Royal Canadian Mounted Yaksmen', and of course Monty Python's 'Lumberjack'. Canada may not scream "visit me", but trust me on this, because:
a. It has the longest unguarded border in the world, to none other than the U.S.A. nudgenudge winkwink say-no-more.
b. If you want to see the Niagara falls, you can't do them justice on the USA side and you will be jealous of the thousands of tourists on the other side looking back at you, and their perfect view of the falls.

2.
Go on the Maid of the Mist
This is a boat (or more correctly-boats) that run up the river to the apex of the crashing water of the Horseshoe Falls (also called Canada Falls). The view from this boat is amazing, and the only way to fully appreciate the sheer volume of water pouring down the otherwise fairly low height. (Niagara is not even close to the highest waterfall in the world, but nothing compares to the millions of litres per minute flow).
Ironically if you board the Maid of the Mist from the America side, you will have fewer tourists competing for views on the boat. Stick with point 1.

3.
Go behind the falls
Can only be down on the Canadian side (see, point 1 is coming in handy already). For $13 (Canadian or US, both are accepted in Niagara) you can don a plastic poncho and walk behind the falling water in a man made tunnel leading to three lookout points.
Two of the lookout points are next to useless. Why? Because the cascading water covers the lookout hole entirely and all you will see is white, and some splashing.
The first lookout point is excellent however; with a decent photo opportunity of the falls (but watch your camera for water damage), and an open area that allows you to get completely saturated (did you remember your poncho?)

Follow these simple three steps and you are guaranteed to lose 10 kilograms in your first week**, I mean, have an excellent time in Niagara Falls.
One last thing on Clifton Hill, a glitzy neon laden tourist road I heard described as "Niagara's Time's Square".
It really isn't.


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*
"...Blame Canada
It seems that every thing's gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Blame Canada
They're not even a real country anyway..."
** Results not typical

A New York minute post

Hi again,
I've been in New York city for about 5 hours now, and still haven't been mugged! That must be some sort of record.

Mind you it seems the New Yorkers have a new thing to do rather than abuse passers by - talk on their cellphones. I have no idea who they are talking too, but the numbers of people on the street are so high it is very likely it's someone just across the road.

This is only a temporary visit to the city, as I'm heading to Niagara tomorrow, but I've wandered to the ubiquitous Times Square already (as seen in 2,184 movies this year already), and I must say it's an impressive use of neon and lcd lighting. The Toys'R Us store even has a working ferris wheel contained within its department store.
Wait, I'm getting Vegas flashbacks...

For Your Culinary 'Pleasure' - Snack food in the USA Part 1

Part of my trip (ie. tour of duty) thus far has been to sample as many 'American' treats as possible for the good of New Zealand. This is a patriotic duty I am willing-nay compelled-to carry out. I think not of myself, but of the millions of New Zealander's back home, or caught up with me on the front lines.

So without further ado a summary (part 1):
1. Twinkie
The classic 'cream' filled 'sponge'. Amazingly classed as food, although nothing consumed will assist your metabolism.
2. Snowball
Coconut covered, marshmallow covered, cake covered, cream. If you can figure that out then you will know never to eat a Snowball.
3. Grandma's Cookie (a biscuit in New Zealand)
This was a back-up in case the Snowball failed to deliver. Bad idea. Choose a Cookie-Time every time.
4. S'more
The classic American camping treat, two Graham crackers (sort of digestives) with chocolate and roasted marshmallow inside. Admittedly the technique of assembly requires a bit of practice so while mine wasn't a success, I think more research is required
5. Twizzlers
Strawberry licorice. Less appetising than the plastic packaging it comes in.
6. York
Not a place in the UK. A bigger version of the after dinner mint. Quite acceptable.
7. Key Lime Pie
I had no idea what this would be; turns out it's a lime flavoured cheesecake. Excellent.
8. Dorittos
Corn chips, with various flavours. Chips are good.
9. Babe Ruth
A chocolate bar with nuts. Almost identical to a Snickers bar (which is also sold in USA), so take your pick.
10. Iced Tea
The unflavoured version tastes like, well, cold tea (no sugar or milk). The flavoured versions can be very refreshing, I particularly like the peach teas.

You may notice a lack of peanut butter flavoured goods. This is deliberate as I can't imagine anything worse (and I can eat marmite off the spoon).

Tomorrow I get to try Angel Food Cake and hope the feathers don't get caught in my throat.
Tune in for part 2.